Published: 2018-06-13T00:00:00.000+01:00
Edited: 2024-12-12T00:00:00.000+00:00
Status: 🌲evergreen

A rebirth, of sorts

Reading time: 1 minutes

Some days you need to take a look at where you are and where you're going.

In the day to day struggle of just existing it's easy to lose track of exactly why you're doing something. But if you have the energy, it is always worth doing.

I've been guilty, of late, of chasing views and claps and membership money. Of trying to make money on Medium instead of focusing on using my time and energy to do what I set out to do:

Write. Stories. That matter.

That's my goal. That's what I want to do with my life.

I want to write fiction that makes people feel seen, and that gives people hope. I want to write non-fiction about who I am and what i've been throught; fiction that makes people feel just a little bit less alone.

So, no more chasing views, no more writing shit just because I think it'll get a lot of hits.

No more censoring myself because I feel I have to be "professional."

This is a place for the stories that won't fit in my books. Stories that might just make the difference someone else needs them to.

And fuck everything else.

Fuck the views and the read stats, fuck the claps and the comments.

That's not why I got into writing.

It's nice, but it's not the reason I feel compelled to keep writing through everything I've been through.

So, what's written is written, and will get posted. But after that it's time to double down on why I'm here. Why I'm writing.

No more writing to an audience, no more beating myself up for not getting certain metrics.

This is where I'm gonna talk about everything that matters. My depression, my anxiety, the self-harm, the suicide attempt. How I fought back from all of those to get to where I am.

It's time to talk about my sexuality, my fat body, my scars. Every single part of me, every single part of my past that matters, that could make a difference.

It's time to talk about who I really am. Warts and all.